What happens to a suicide in the afterlife?
I have been writing a novel about this for three years. Now, I have finished it. The most difficult thing I have ever written and done in magic. This is one of many chapters of that book. But I hope it can influence a discussion. If it is not proper to be here, the mods might move it to black magic section or elsewhere.
KAMA LOKA
"Deadness" is the posthumous term for severe and deep depression, which in milder cases can last for several months and in the most severe cases for several decades. Every suicide victim spends time alternating between a prolonged state of lifelessness and brief moments of wakefulness. During his phase of deadness, Petar finds himself in his small dark room at Lotifar's hospital, which is located somewhere on the outskirts of the city. There he lies and sleeps, if that is what one can call a state where the heart beats once every ten minutes and a whole hour passes between exhalation and inhalation.
For the suicides, the waking phase begins when doctor Lotifar or one of his assistants deems the moment right to awaken them from their stupor. Then they usually enter a slightly better reality. Lotifar's purpose is to take them out of the room, cheer them up, and get them to talk about anything, because everything he hears from them is important to him.
During his waking hours, Petar is usually in his apartment in Voždovac. At that time, he is conscious but often thinks about suicide. Usually twice a month, Lotifar (and recently Lydia) takes Petar out for a walk. Last time, Petar also managed to take himself out, but then he realized that he was sleeping while he was walking. He woke up with great difficulty, and when he opened his eyes, he saw several other people who were also walking and sleeping at the same time. Petar's waking phase always ends with his mental collapse, after which he falls unconscious into the reality of a much darker world, usually at Lotifar’s room, but sometimes even in some worse places.
Unfortunately, the waking phase can be even worse than the lifelessness. For example, when suicides wake up by themselves and without anyone nearby watching over them, it is then a horror story. As soon as they open their eyes, most feel that something very evil lurks from the darkness. As the chill spreads within them, they also understand how powerless they are. Most of them cannot muster the strength to get out of bed. Overwhelmed by an unexplainable horror, they do not know where they are, but can only feel that they are in a very bad place. Many believe they are in prison. Others think that medical experiments are being conducted on them. Those who know they are dead are convinced that they are somewhere deep inside hell. They believe that their captors were either the most terrifying demons, the most dangerous aliens, the evilest human doctors, or all of them together at the same time. Some, however, realize that they have no one else to blame for all their misfortunes but themselves.
When suicides wake up, they’d better off with someone watching over them. Petar wakes up by himself about once every two weeks. If he wakes up alone, as soon as he opens his eyes, he too would, with goosebumps, believe that there is something terrible out there in the darkness. Without a clue as to where he is, he would then stare silently into the void with his blank, expressionless eyes. In these moments, almost all of his memory is lost. Sometimes he would also see a small statue of the god Asclepius in the corner by the door and the framed Hippocratic Oath hanging on the black wall but in the next second, he would be back in the darkness again. From there, he would wake up two weeks later again, most often screaming.
At one point, he also seemed to recognize Adela's voice. She scolded him, "you are a selfish weakling." She said she could not feel sorry for him because he had "wasted his life" and "ruined" them all. Sometimes he is aware enough to understand what the other unknown people are saying about him, for example, that his condition is very bad, that at this stage no medicine or comforting words can help, that he has to fight for himself, and that it is really only God's Providence that can help him. After their voices get silent and their images fade away, he would be back in his darkness again.
Doctor Lotifar rearranges the hospital sometimes. Last time, he brought two other people into Petar's room. It took a long time for Petar to notice that he was not alone. Even with others in the room, he felt there like in a grave. Several times, someone who accidentally disturbed the peace in the room awakened Petar. Doctor Lotifar did his best to ensure peace and quiet in his rooms, but now and then, it happened that someone broke glass, dropped something on the floor, slammed doors, or entered the wrong room.
All suicides experience terrible trauma when they wake up by themselves. Lotifar wishes they could spare themselves from these terrible experiences, but no one could stop them from waking up on their own. Once upon a time, he did his best to ensure that one of his assistants was always with the suicides when they woke up. Unfortunately, he had to give up that idea over the years, as his assistants became fewer compared to the increasing number of suicides. Currently, tens of millions of suicides are sleeping in his room. For sure, Lotifar does not have as many assistants, not even close.
One of Lotifar's main goals is to put suicide victims in such a mental and psychological state that suicide no longer crosses their minds. A completely healthy patient is one whose suicidal thoughts have been eradicated, which Petar was far from now. A major problem in the treatment of every suicidal person, including Petar, is that their new suicidal thoughts make them relive their worst and most traumatic phases in life, including their suicides.
In Petar's world people also die, just like they do in all other spheres where duality exists. Unlike the deceased suicides, the living people are not aware of Lotifar's existence. For that reason, Lotifar and his assistants are in a position to have better control over the suicidal in the afterlife than they do in the world of the living. In summary, suicides occur less frequently in the afterlife than in the material world.
According to Lotifar, Petar was a difficult patient, but not a hopeless case. When it comes to the more difficult patients, with each new suicide, they sink deeper into hell. The more they sink, the harder it becomes for Lotifar to help them. In the end, when they reach a sufficiently low level of hell, they will also be beyond Lotifar's help.
Doctor Lotifar wanted to prevent any possibility of Petar's suicide being repeated, which is why he analyzed him so thoroughly. This doctor was particularly interested in what Petar specifically fantasized about in those moments when he experienced his worst psychosis. He believed that Petar's thoughts were a fairly reliable indication of the current stage of his mental disorder.
This unusual doctor has closely followed Petar for ten years. He has diligently collected every available piece of information about his case, without missing even the seemingly insignificant details. Often, he also analyzed Petar's case together with his colleagues.