Hi, Some thoughts and a question about "possession" and personal identity ... In my evocation of various angels & spirits from the Kingdom of Flames grimoire, I've noticed a tendency for the feeling of the enities' presence to linger on well after the conclusion of the operation; after the license to depart, after the burning of a sigil, etc. In those cases where an external result was sought, there have been some truly favorable (and very definitive) responses.
But especially in these situations of manifestation, it felt as if I myself was the antenna or broadcaster for the entities' influence, rather than the desired action happening at a distance from somewhere "outside myself" (as I've found in some past Goetic practice). And again, these influence seem to persist. I've noticed some definite and ongoing perceptual changes almost as if the contact with the spirit was permanently transformative or initiatory rather than simply "operative." (I"ve doublechecked my purification/banishing/circle casting/dismissal practices and feel confident that they are in order.)
So far, I've not had a problem with this seeming "blending" of the spirits nature and my own; in fact, I have welcomed the experience as positive and empowering. It has made me think however, both about the power of this particular grimoire and also about the nature of magical practice and personal identity. Both in popular culture and also in some traditional magical systems, persisting influence from an evoked entity generates warnings about "obsession" and posible possession.
But short of negative states or uncontrollable impulses, what is there to be afraid of? I've heard both Voudon and Buddhist teachers refer to the fear of possession as rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding of what our real identity is. If my real self is my ego/personality, involuntary changes to that might be something to be feared. But if my true Self is a cosmic being or an HGA, what am I afraid of losing? Giving up my lesser perceptions for the greater as part of my Ascent? A larger mind from contact with these entities? That's a deal I'm glad to make!
I'm curious if anyone else has some experiences or thoughts to share on this. Have you experienced similar effects with the entities of this grimoire? And what do you think about the dangers of possession? What's the difference between transformative possession and initiation?
Many thanks.