Hi Clayfield,
This very discussion has come up in previous posts a while back, so quite honestly, it's natural to think and go through what you are experiencing as others have before you -- you might look back at the early postings and see what others have written, I haven't looked lately, but they are probably still there.
I had the same reaction that you did, I didn't want to 'command' Elubatel or any other Spirit, and so I struggled a bit with the words. But, Geoff Gray-Cobb also points out in either his NAP book and/or in the Mystical Grimoire that the Spirits are understanding and that if we make a mistake due to inexperience, they will understand. I stretched this to also include that they would understand that I essentially didn't want to "command" Elubatel in the imperious sense, but that those words were almost like a key turning within a lock, which had to be said but which I happen to say with reverence.
I actually asked for something once which came true almost unbelievably, and I was so magnificantly stunned that, at this point, I feel a little concerned because I didn't reap further benefits that I might have if I had applied more energy -- I now see that I could have utilized the opportunity further, but, at the time was overwhelmed with the need to deal with some other things in my environment and never followed up on the great chance I was offered. I hope I get a 'do-over'!
It will work out for you, you'll find the best way --