Maybe this is an explanation for the borderline mental breakdown I experienced this morning. Even now the vibes in my head just feel "wrong."
In the effort of seeking a bit of help for myself as well as potentially helping out those that may be in similar situations, I'll detail my situation here to my fellow practitioners.
I've been working with NAP for three weeks to a month, now. I discovered it rather serendipitously after investigating many avenues for help rekindling a mate's interest (I know, I know. But most of us have been there, and there's a lot of synchronicity with this individual. And it was through her that I gradually came upon the spiritual/mystical avenues I now pursue). After working through one spellcaster I decided to take matters into my own hands. That's when I stumbled upon NAP.
The majority of my work in the past month has focused on the chant to rekindle a mate's interest, But in that time frame I have worked with Elubatel twice, chant to excite love three times, chant for health once and general invocation once. More often than not I performed these invocations in separate rituals. But there have been at least two instances in which I've done multiples in one ritual. As you can see, I'm still experimenting -- trying to figure out what works best for me.
I began doing NAP work from a PDF and obtained my own copy of the book early last week.
I should note I've incorporated the titanic ritual as of three days ago. Here's my usual ritual map since including the titanic ritual (I burn frankincense throughout):
LBRP
NAP relaxation to point A
Opening of the gates
NAP circulation
Fountain
Bornless
Planetary invocation
Rekindle invocation
Thanking of spirits and request for them to go about these works
LBRP
Return from NAP
Any comments on the order and/or things I could do to make this stronger?
The first week, when I was simply practicing the NAP relaxation followed by the rekindle (sometimes with De Hay Thoth, sometimes without), I had strong results. Since then the results have seemingly tapered off. I've tried to go back to what I was practicing at that point, but I wasn't meticulous about writing things down in my book of shadows at that point, so I'm unsure as to EXACTLY what I did. In an effort to rediscover this I've tried simplifying my practice by not utilizing the LBRP or De Hay Thoth. I've been a bit worried that including too many things could delude the power of the practice. I've yet to regain the immediate satisfactory results that I obtained from that first week of practice, though. Any thoughts on this and/or what I could do to maximize effect?
Throughout my few weeks of practice there have been times when I certainly felt presences, energy and whatnot. Presences were most notably felt within the first week of practice and have seemed to taper off. Energy flowing within myself seemed to be the strongest this past weekend when I performed a rite in the order cited above that included three NAP chants/invocations in this singular ritual. I was very tired yesterday and experienced a rather disconcerting lack of energy or sense of presence in the two separate rituals I performed. One of the rituals was practiced as listed above, but without the LBRP, and the second ritual practiced later that day was simply NAP relaxation + the general invocation and the return from NAP -- also sans the LBRP. The lack of energy and/or sense of presence actually disturbed me to some extent yesterday as well as my overall lack of energy throughout the day.
This morning I woke up feeling incredibly depressed -- so much so that I couldn't even get out of bed to go to work till much later. And my brain/head physically felt "wrong." This heavy depression has me rather worried as it's led to negative thought patterns, which makes me worry that I may be ruining the possibility of favorable outcomes from the rituals. These feelings are lingering to some extent right now, which has led me to conclude that the LBRP should not be omitted from my practice. I'm still unsure if I should reintroduce De Hay Thoth before I close with the LBRP or not. Right now I'm planning on going to lunch at around 2 p.m. (today's afternoon hour of Venus) to perform the ritual as described above in its entirety.
Anyway, that's my rundown. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.